by Nneka M. Okona


Last installment of OWN's Iyanla: Fix My Life found Karrueche Tran as the featured guest. I personally couldn’t watch the entirety of the hour-long special because I was near tears. It was hard for me to watch a wounded Karrueche struggle to come to grips with her relationship with Chris Brown.

Iyanla,

Before your show I never felt like just one of 34. I have always had a great and close relationship with the eight of my siblings that I do know. We have a very supportive and loving family overall. We are in constant contact, so it has always felt totally normal. Sure, I always knew that I had an unusual amount of siblings out there, and yes, I resented my father for it. I never, however, despised what he created. All of my siblings are a blessing, and they all matter, but I resented what he would not do. Yes my mother is the first, and she is an amazing woman--nothing short of an inspiration. She has done great on her own despite my father’s absence and having so many children. It would be asinine to say he wasn’t necessary. It was just extremely difficult for us to expect anything from him at all. Let’s be honest, you cannot expect a man with 34 children to do something as ordinary as tucking you into bed every night. You certainly cannot expect that same man to put you and your 33 siblings through college. You cannot expect to see him during the holidays, your birthday, or even at your college graduation. Zero expectations. Sero consistency. What does a person like that teach a child about how to socialize? Have no expectations? Have no voice? Set no boundaries? I will admit that I have had to ask myself each of those questions at different points in my life, but the reoccurring question was always: “When will the day come when my Father will be held accountable and how?”