It’s pretty safe to say that a majority of people at some point in their lives will want to be in a successful, long-term relationship with someone, and possibly even get married. It’s also safe to say that many of these “serious” relationships start in our 20’s and 30’s. Back in the day, it seems marriage and kids were something checked off a woman’s bucket list by age 30. These days, it seems that for African American women, holding down a lasting, committed relationship may be one the biggest obstacles we face. Why is this? I believe it has a lot to do with the examples and messages about successful marriages—or lack thereof—placed before us, as well as out-of-date notions about women’s roles.